


disappear

by atroqui9



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide attempt, POV Second Person, aka: asriel finds a book and it ends in crying and handholding, spoilers obvs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-30
Updated: 2015-12-30
Packaged: 2018-05-10 08:39:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5578840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atroqui9/pseuds/atroqui9
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You didn't want them to be upset with you, but you couldn't ignore just how wide their eyes got or the twinge of their fingers against their sleeve or how heavy your chest got when you went to put it back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	disappear

**Author's Note:**

> i've been sitting on this for. Weeks, so please.... take it from me............

You grip the sides of the book, and give it the most serious stare you can muster.

You'd found it in the dump while on one of Gerson's "totally 100% mom-approved" field trips, where they had found many other both human and monster items of... “Questionable origin”, as Chara put it.

You had run over to Chara, excited to show your new find. They turned to you from their pile, mouth already open to say something sarcastic, probably- but when they had seen the title… they did the little funny thing with their mouth they do when they’re upset but don’t want you to know. Chara’s eyes quickly went back up to your face and they looked… scared?

You didn’t understand why they would be scared, because a book isn’t really what you would call frightening, and you could feel your worry and confusion scrunch up your eyebrows.

You think Chara saw, too, because when you blinked their face was back to normal save for the strain around the corners of the mouth. They started speaking before you could even react, voice still as measured as it was before.

“Sorry to burst your bubble, As, but that book looks really, really boring. You should put it back.”

You can’t help but pout. “Aw, Chara! It’s a book about where we live. That’s a little interesting, right?”

"Yeah, but it'll probably have mean things about monsters in it."

They give you a dull look. “And you’ll cry. And I’m not in the mood for that, thanks.” They shrugged, but it’s with a forced nonchalance that you’ve come to recognize.

You’re lips tug from a pout to a genuine frown, but you don’t push it beyond that. Chara seemed to relax a bit more once you set the book down where you’d found it, at least you think. But once it was time for you two to go, you had (hopefully) sneakily stuffed it in your bag on your way out.

Chara didn’t seem to notice, which was weird, ‘cause they noticed a lot of things. They, for once, seemed too distracted by… _something_ to give you any notice.

Remembering how you got the book made your throat feel weird, because you would never want to lie to Chara and definitely wouldn’t want to hurt their feelings… But. But the vulnerable way they had looked at you when you showed them and the weightiness in your hands when you carried it back and the way their hands twitched like they wanted to take it from you and plunge it in the water made you think you should risk it.

You’re sitting at the kitchen table, long after your parents (and even Chara!) have fallen asleep. You don’t know what this book could say that could scare even _Chara_ , of all monsters, but you’re prepared. You won’t even cry, you bet! Even if it says something really mean.

(Nobody’s around to see you if you do, so. Ha!)

You slowly open the book. You flip through the first pages, scan the title, _Mt. Ebott,_ the table of contents… It seems like a normal book.

...An admittedly, very, very boring book.

You skip over the geography (only a vague description, nothing special) and the culture of the villages surrounding the mountain (written by someone who obviously didn’t live there), slow down to skim the monster history portion (which… seems roughly like the story you know, but with much ruder words) and finally stop at the Rumors section. It seems to be the part detailing all the weird things humans say about the mountains, which sounds a little more interesting.

Your mind catches on a particular segment, and you read it slowly.

“Due to the long-ago tales of the dreaded monsters locked away under the mountain, the winding pathways of the monstrous trees at it’s base and the harsh, secluded climb upwards, the stories of Mt. Ebott both serve as a dual purpose. As a remnant of a long fabled war, and a practical warning against the dangerous hike around the mountain.”

Your eyebrows scrunch up with the same worry and confusion they had earlier. And not just because they used a lot of hard words.

You knew that Chara had walked a while from their old village, but you didn’t think that the way up the mountain would be that scary-sounding… but you suppose a lot more humans would’ve fallen down if it was easier.

You start reading again, but your chest feels heavy with a feeling you can’t name.

“The most common and least superstitious story is well-known, and it is likely that even you know it yourself.”

“It is well known that anyone that climbs the mountain-”

Your hand gripping the page is trembling so hard it was hard to read the rest of the sentence.

But, you do.

You read the rest of the book too.

 

\---

 

You entered quietly into your shared room, your hands gripping the book so hard your claws pierced through the plastic cover. 

Chara was sitting on their bed, not responding to your arrival. You open the door slightly more so it creaks, giving a little more warning. They were still staring straight ahead at the wall, hands rubbing the insides of their sweater sleeves.

You thought that they were asleep when you left, but you should know by now that you always fall asleep before them.

And that, also, you are really not that good at pretending to be asleep.

You carefully sat across from them, and gently held their hands still. This was enough to bring them out of their state, and you waited for them to take in the situation.

You think they were currently having one of their Bad Nights, and the guilt of not being there for them made your throat feel funny again, but you blinked away the tears because crying wouldn’t help right now and also they might get even angrier at you. Their eyes darted from you and around the room, their whole body moving with their breaths. You waited still. You knew it could be overwhelming.

Feeling nothing, then suddenly- hands on hands, slightly ajar door, bright hallway light, book-

Chara gave a faint whispered "I told you to throw that away", then silence. Your presence was being acknowledged by way of Chara trying very, very hard not to look at you.

"So... I heard that there's a-a rumor."

No response.

"That everyone knows that, uh, anybody that goes up the mountain... disa- never… comes back down?"

"Is..." You began again. " Chara, please look at me."

They don't look at you, but something far far away in your general direction. That's something you can work with.

"Why... Why would you go up a mountain like that?"

They hide their face in their knees for a moment, and come back looking much more collected, flashing you an empty smile. “I got lost.” They shrug, their hands coming apart from yours to make a clear ‘i dunno’ shrug. You give them a mom look.

They laugh a little, but it sound brittle and fake and like it hurts. “An accident, As. I got off the hiking trail.”

There are no hiking trails on or around Mt. Ebbott.

Their fragile smile grows weaker. “It was just a dare,” they try but. But you know telling someone to go up Mt. Ebbott would be like telling someone to…

They see your expression and they try something else but their voice cracks and wavers and you already feel your eyes stinging and you reach for their hands and they don’t flinch but you, you see them start to pull away even more-

“It- It doesn’t _matter_ , Asriel. Leave me alone.”

They try to remove your gentle grip on their hands but you know they aren’t really trying that hard since they are so much stronger than you and their grip on your hands only seems to get tighter.

You pull away shortly and wrap your arms around them. They’re still so skinny, even after all the time they’ve spent with you, and they go limp in your hold.

“...I just wanted an escape.”

You know that here, with your mom and dad and you, was not the escape they had planned.

You hold them tighter.

They half-heartedly return the hug, but rub their face against the soft fur of your ears.

Their face feels wet, and you realize yours does too. You can’t find it in you to be annoyed by the way it matts your fur down.

“Crybaby.” They murmur softly, and you laugh and call them one too, and they just laugh along with you instead of acting hurt.

“I guess.”

You stay there for a lot longer, but not long enough that you hear mom and dad wake up, and Chara quietly says thank you, and you find that you don’t even mind being used as their pillow.

You don’t know what made Chara want to disappear, but you think they’ll tell you, eventually.

You’re just glad that the home between the four of you, maybe… makes them feel like staying.

They snuggle deeper into your sweater, and the feeling makes you giggle. You think you see a faint smile on their face.

 

You hope they stay forever.

 

**Author's Note:**

> i really wanted to write chara and asriel family stuff so..! have this short little thing. more to come (??)
> 
> (and i hc that. gerson totally babysat the dreemurr kids sometimes, and you can bet there was some unsupervised garbage fieldtrips )
> 
> ((also please refer to chara with them/their pronouns at least in the comments, please! chara is nb and this is My Town ))


End file.
